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Mockery

Family is like a bag of mixed nuts, and the Christian family is no different. In the tradition of laughing at what bothers us instead of getting angry, this section will be devoted to any humorous items we post to poke fun at ourselves and our brethren.



Church Signs We’d Like to See Print E-mail
Written by Uncle Luther   
Saturday, 29 August 2009 23:24

If you’re going to do a church sign, do it in style.

churchsign15 churchsign

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10 Christian Phrases That Need To Be Excommunicated Print E-mail
Written by Uncle Luther   
Saturday, 29 August 2009 23:19

I have read through the Sermon on The Mount more times than any other part of the Bible. The teaching and the thinking are so rich and revolutionary, it beckons me when I need a good lesson on thinking more about God’s Kingdom than my own. This particular time, I was using “The Message” translation, which brought to life a familiar verse. Here is Matthew 5:34 according to “The Message.”

“You only make things worse when you lay down a smoke screen of pious talk, saying, 'I'll pray for you,' and never doing it, or saying, 'God be with you,' and not meaning it. You don't make your words true by embellishing them with religious lace. In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true.”

I know this verse is usually applied to swearing and making oaths, but it did get me thinking about some of the frivolous religious phrases we use in the Church. It seems so often we cloak our feelings in spiritual platitudes and wonder why the world views us as inauthentic. In the spirit of truth and authenticity, here are a few such phrases we should cut from our conversations.

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You Might Be An Independent Fundamental Baptist If... Print E-mail
Written by Uncle Luther   
Saturday, 29 August 2009 22:38

You might be an Independent Fundamental Baptist if…

  1. You have ever used the phrase “Get right with God.”
  2. You believe that Jesus spoke Aramaic and the Bible was written in Hebrew and Greek— but the 1611 King James Version is the only inspired Word of God.
  3. Evangelism consists of tracts, bus visits and a “magic prayer.
  4. You believe women deserve second-class treatment in the church because Eve “started it” by eating the forbidden fruit.
  5. You treat everyone outside the church as a “pagan” or “heathen,” unless, of course, you can win a free steak dinner by inviting them to church.
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You Might Be A Methodist If… Print E-mail
Written by Uncle Luther   
Saturday, 29 August 2009 22:36

You might be a Methodist if…

  1. The building fund is more important than the tithe.
  2. You believe Jesus saves people from their sins— you just aren’t sure everyone has sin and needs saving.
  3. You believe women can and should be ordained— but you don’t want to ordain them.
  4. No one in the congregation actually knows what the denomination as a whole believes.
  5. Your church has to have a traditional and contemporary service, otherwise World War III will break out over the music used during worship.
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