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Written by Uncle Luther
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Saturday, 29 August 2009 22:32 |
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You might be a Southern Baptist if…
- When someone refers to the fathers of the Christian faith you immediately think of Charles Stanley and Billy Graham.
- You’re reasonably certain all Catholics are going to Hell.
- The altar call at the end of the sermon lasts longer than the sermon itself.
- Your lunch is frequently held up by “one last sinner” at church.
- Your typical tip at a restaurant consists of a 99 cent tract, a stick of mint chewing gum and the 72 cents you had in your pocket.
- Everyone else is wrong.
- Your rebuttal when challenged by another Christian is, “That’s not what My Bible says.”
- The body and the blood are secondary. It is all about the water, the method of Baptism and whether or not babies should be baptized.
- Your entire statement of faith could be summarized by simply saying, “We’re not Catholic and we baptize by immersion.”
- You’ve ever referred to a dance as a “foot function.”
- You think Jesus’ first miracle was when he turned water into grape juice.
- The doors of your church are locked more often than they are open.
- You make it a point to pray before any meal at a restaurant—and do so until the food is cold.
- You send all your money and resources to support foreign missions, but the homeless five miles from the church remain unfed.
- You are pro-life, but there is never a war you don’t support.
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