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Written by Uncle Luther
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Monday, 16 November 2009 03:22 |
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Your good buddy Uncle Luther has noticed some confusion when it comes to proper behavior as it pertains to Christians on the road and in church parking lots. In response to this, I have written for your reference, a handy little guide to Christian etiquette whilst driving.
- It is considered rude, in bad form and quite damaging to one’s witness when one runs another vehicle off the road in one’s mad dash to arrive at Sunday services on time.
- Cutting people off in the church parking lot is highly frowned upon. It is generally known we will all receive our communion wafers at approximately the same time.
- Should you decide to decorate your automobile with a fish, Christian bumper sticker, or private Christian school license plate, it is strongly suggested your driving record be as spotless as Christ’s robe. It would be profaning the name of Christ for one of His followers to have a fit of road rage while driving a God-mobile around the city.
- After hearing an inspiring sermon about humility, grace and patience, it is considered hypocritical to honk one’s horn while exiting the church parking lot.
- The brief period of hunger between breakfast and lunch on Sunday will not kill you. Please be careful not to run down pedestrians in the church parking lot. If you must, pack a granola bar or some animal crackers to tide you over until you reach IHOP.
- Every church member does not know your car. This is particularly true in larger churches. Please be advised that turn signals are still appropriate even when entering your house of worship’s parking lot.
- Should you arrive late and find the parking lot full, it is unacceptable under any circumstance to park behind another vehicle, blocking them in. If the parking lot is packed, please be aware that there are four other churches within a five mile radius. Perhaps one of them has a parking space available.
- While it may be true that Our Lord has blessed you with abundance, such that you can afford a shiny new Cadillac Escalade, I can guarantee you He has not blessed you with the added privilege of taking up more than one parking space. Your choice to protect your most sacred possession from dings and scratches has the potential to cause another to miss the opening hymn.
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